How to Get Laid in Armenia, Colombia – City Guide

Armenia girls don’t get much love on the internet. Of the three cities in Colombia’s coffee triangle, Armenia is the most often ignored. Most guys bus to Pereira or Manizales but drive past Armenia. But therein lies the opportunity for any man with an interest in Armenia women.

The city was almost destroyed by an earthquake in 1999 registering 6.2 on the Richter scale. The local people have been trying to rebuild since then. Read on to see if the “Ciudad Milagro” (Miracle City) has recovered.

Columbia Casanova Ratings
Looks of Armenia: 3/5
How Easy Are Armenia: 2.5/5
Armenia Overall: 3/5

 

Population
At just three hundred thousand people, Armenia is only half the size of nearby Pereira. It’s the smallest Colombian city I’ve covered on this website.

While a population of three hundred thousand in the US or Europe would be a decent-sized settlement, in Colombia it feels like a sleepy pueblo. And that is the main complaint made by visitors to Armenia – boredom.

But for a man looking to improve his health, enjoy a slower pace of life, meet some women in Armenia and find the “one”, it may be the best city in Colombia.

Safety
The coffee region in one of the safest areas in all of Colombia, especially compared to the towns on the Venezuelan border or the Pacific coast. The only crime perpetrated against you in Armenia is getting charged more than the locals. This happens daily, even when you have excellent Spanish so don’t take it personally.

Just like in Bogota and Barranquilla, the safer areas of the city are in the north. Make sure you stay in the northern parts of Armenia after dark for safety reasons. Specifically north of Plaza Bolivar.

And don’t walk around El Centro at night unless you want to increase your chances of getting robbed.

Climate
Both Aremania and Peria are set lower in the mountains than Manizales. This means sunnier days and warmer nights. It rains every other day but the shower is usually over within a couple of hours.

If you like mild weather that varies little all year round and don’t mind rain, you’ll love life in Armenia.

If you’re a summer child and need to top up your tan, you won’t.

Tourism
Most other Colonial-era architecture in the center of Armenia was destroyed in the earthquake so history buffs will be disappointed.

But nature lovers will enjoy strolling through Parque la Vida: a tropical rainforest inside the city. Or the Quindío Botanical Gardens where you’ll more species of butterflies than Charles Darwin did on his trip to the Galapagos Islands.

Another must-do is the Parque del Cafe, a coffee-themed park. Be serious in the coffee museum or laugh on rides. Hey, we’re all big kids at heart. The park is perfect for a lighthearted date with girls in Armenia.

On the subject of coffee, take your time to enjoy it in this area, it’s the best in the world.

Outside of Armenia, you have an embarrassment of tourist options. Here are a couple:

Salento – This town is popular with tourists who want to visit the coffee farms and taste the local delicacy – fried river trout.

Los Nevados National Park – here you can visit the snow-capped volcanic peaks. The bus leaves from the center of Armenia every day – around $30 return.

Cost of living in Armenia.
Armenia is the cheapest city in Colombia… of all the livable ones. You’ll spend less in Buenaventura or Cucuta but you might pay for it with your life.

A nice hostel room in Armenia will set you back twelve dollars per night. You can upgrade to a decent hotel for around thirty. And if you want enjoy some Armenia sex in luxury bed, you can stay at a four or five-star hotel for $60 per night.

To rent an apartment, expect to pay around four hundred dollars per month on a long-term lease.

To find these bargains, walk around and look for advertisements in windows that say: “se arrienda” (for rent). Get a local friend to call up the landlord and don’t mention that you’re a foreigner until after they’ve agreed on a price. This move is classic “bait and switch” but crucial to not get taken advantage of.

But you might not want to stay that long in such a sleepy town. Better go for short-term stays using Airbnb and hostels.

Where to Stay in Armenia?
Anywhere on Avenida Bolivar, north of El Bosque is safe, upscale and near Armenia’s “zona rosa” – the nightlife district.

What do Armenian Girls look like?
Because the city is fairly secluded in the mountains, Armenia girls are more indigenous looking than girls in other parts of Colombia. That means no morenas or negras – go to Cali or Cartagena if that’s your bag. Armenia girls are shorter, whiter and less curvy than other Colombianas.

Sex in Armenia. Is it difficult?
Okay enough tourism, let’s talk about how to get laid in Armenia, Colombia.

Good news: The only other gringos you’ll see in Armenia are retirees. And they’re usually fat, bald, grey and settled down with a local chica. That means you’ll be the only exotic guy of fuckable age in town. The local Armenia women will be all over you.

But you may have to stick to one source of sex in Armenia. Being a small town, you can’t date multiple girls and get away with it. Also, girls in Armenia are more relationship-minded. If you want no-strings-attached fuckbuddies, go to Bogota.

Online Game
You’ll have a high value on Tinder in Armenia but you’ll run out of matches in the first week. Once you do, widen your search on Colombian Cupid and Latin American Cupid. Girls from Manizales, Pereira, even Ibague, are close enough to for you to date if you’re based in Armenia.

Day Game
The secret to daygame in Armenia is coffee-shop game. Walk along Carrera 14 and you’ll see more coffee shops than in Seattle. This means you must apply indirect game and know how to approach single girls studying university textbooks in coffee shops.

Beyond that, the two big malls are Portal del Quindío and Unicentro Mall. Again, be subtle in your daygame approaches here – girls from Armenia are unused to being approached by gringos during the day so you might scare the cat away.

Night Game
Straight talk: nightlife is better in Pereira – about an hour away. But if you’re determined to dance the night away in Armenia, here are the clubs I recommend:
Mariajuana Bar – On the main strip, Carrera 14. DJ sets and live music on weekends.
Motel Club – The top floor plays Latin top-40 music. The basement is for electronic music lovers.
Triki Trake – More of a locals’ disco. Visit if you’re an adventurous tourist.

Speaking Spanish in Armenia.
As you’d expect from a small town in the Colombian jungle, very few of the girls in Armenia speak English. Searching for the handful of girls in the city with proficient English means hunting with a small net.

And you don’t just need Spanish for dating, living in Armenia will be a pain in the ass if you don’t know any Español.

And don’t think that you can just “pick it up when you get there”. In a small town like Armenia, it’s vital that you hit the ground running, start speaking to some women online first (and start speaking to girls during the day) from day one otherwise you’ll be really bored and lonely in this town.

If you want to get comfortable with the Spanish language, I recommend a course called Synergy Spanish. It’s fast paced so you’ll start forming sentences from day one. And you’ll be saying adult sentences not speaking like a baby or a caveman as other courses will have you do. I would recommend studying the language before you find a local tutor or enroll in Spanish school because you’ll need a base. You’ll need to know some Spanish first so you can identify your weak points and have the tutor help you address them.

Otherwise, the Colombian tutor will teach you whatever they feel like.

The other course I recommend is Pickup Spanish. This is a fast and direct course that teaches you how to flirt, tease and seduce in Spanish. If you don’t want to know about verbs or speaking about your pet, but just want to speak the language of love in Colombia, Pickup Spanish is the best course out there.

How to Get Laid in Armenia Colombia
Of all the cities I’ve covered, Armenia offers the most authentic Colombian experience. You’ll see few international chain stores, fast-food outlets or big-box gyms. Instead, you’ll get noisy markets, exotic foods, and a big culture shock.

If you’re visiting Armenia for romantic reasons, it’s better to spend your time here with one special woman.

Where will you find her? You may find her in the City of Miracles. If you’re looking for wife material in Colombia, I wouldn’t’ look in Medellin or Cali, I would look in Armana. You’ll have a better chance of meeting that sweet, down to earth, genuine girl who wants a stable relationship. And you can enjoy that relationship in a healthy, cheap city with amazing scenery and the best coffee in the world.